I miss you. You still mean so much to me. You’re so important to me, you don’t even know. There’s not a day I go without missing you, because to be honest it hurts. It hurts missing someone this much. I don’t care about the rough times we went through, the shit people said, anything, I don’t care. I just miss you. I love you, always had, always will. I don’t even know if you really want to talk to me or anything, but I try. I do. I was going to move to New York, because I wanted to have a fresh start. Every morning I wake up with this deep feeling in my rest, because I’ve been feeling empty. To have all these memories, that I don’t want to throw away. I decided not to move because I want to try to get things fixed. Well, yeah I guess. I understand people walk in and out of my life, but you’re one of the people that I hope won’t completely walk out, because I need you in my life. Can we start over? Forget about the bad parts? I don’t know, just tell me. Man, this sucks lol. I just miss you so fucking much, k.
K, hi. So like sorry for being late on reading that post aight. I’ll just reply to what you said. Btw are you okay? You seem mad or idk, busy? ._. Anyway I do miss you, a lot. Like you’re really all I mostly think about every day. There’s not really a minute that goes by without me missing you or thinking about you. It’s hard but I try not to show it cause, you know. Sometimes I tell you I do and you reply omg lol or ok. I feel stupid when you do, cause yeah. I know about that one thing, Jade told me you try to distant yourself from me or whatever cause you don’t want to hurt me anymore or something. No, stop. K? I need you in my life too. I do care. I really miss you. And yeah I get it, I promised I won’t “abuse” you and stuff anymore LOL omg. Idk, I’m stupid sometimes. I won’t k. Sorry I act stupid sometimes. Bleh, okay. It’s been really hard and I know I’ve been sounding all sad and stuff lately. Cause there’s a whole bunch of stuff getting mixed up and bottled up inside me and sometimes it gets to be too much, ya know? But gah, I try. I hope you know I don’t want to lose you, but please tell me if I’m waiting for nothing. I know we’ve both made mistakes and stuff in the past and I accepted everything. I’m sorry for all my mistakes btw. And oh, I still love you too. Don’t forget that. Always did, and always will. Just text me or post back, which ever.
Do you miss me or are you just trying to get me out of your life? I need you in mine but you just don’t get how much i care. There’s not a minute that goes by without me thinking about coming back. Everything just gets to me. I miss you. I really do but then I hate being near you. All this pushing and hitting. I’m tired of being hit and shit. That’s one of the reasons I hate being with you. Yet I still love being with you. Even if i have to go through all this pain. It just gets to me now. I hate how I would just want a hug and you would either hit me, push me, or run away. It’s like as if you don’t even want me. What’s the use of being with me? Just to see me? I guess that’s fine. Maybe you just like hitting people. I honestly don’t know. You probably won’t even see this but whatever, I still love you. Goodbye until you actually reply to my texts.
I reread over all our posts when I got home. I miss you, ugh. I know I got to see you today, but you know what I mean. I miss being officially yours and I miss you being officially mine. I miss calling you babe. I miss getting those butterflies all the time. I miss everything. I miss the cute conversations we had about everything like our future and stuff. I miss telling you I love you. I miss everything. Today, I was so happy because I got to see you and be with you, and hug you and hold your hand. Sorry for being a CBC lol I should stop, I was just like omfg because it’s been a while since I kissed someone. And I couldn’t talk as much because my voice was being gay LOL it came back though like 30 minutes ago. Ugh, well anyways I miss you so much. I still have your text where you said we’ll be back together again eventually because it makes me happy. But tell me if I’m getting my hopes up for nothing, ugh. I hope we do though cause I need/want you in my life. I know you make mistakes, I do too, but I honestly get over it and I don’t care. I just don’t wanna lose you. Okay.
I don’t know where to start. But, I have this feeling in my chest that you’re still not okay. I don’t know, lol, it’s a weird feeling. Well, yesterday was shit. I’m sorry though, for everything. I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough. I’m sorry that I “bitched” around. I’m sorry that I need to be ‘better.’ I’m sorry that I annoy you, just by talking to you. I’m sorry. I don’t know how I’m supposed to fix not annoying you by a simple hi. I’m sorry. It hate this feeling stuck in my chest. Sorry for all my shit. Sorry I thought you didn’t care. Sorry. I don’t know if you regret or whatever, but anyway, I want you to know that after that happened it let a lot of stuff out. I’m okay now. I don’t really overthink anymore, cause I got better. I won’t do what Jade wants me to do anymore. I won’t listen to her little stories anymore cause they’re all basically the same shit. And I trust you, cause I love you. If I wasn’t ever attached to you, after all the stuff you told me, and all the stuff you did, I would of just left. I would of followed what Jade wanted me to do and leave. But I didn’t cause I wanted to stay with you, cause I love you. Like, you don’t even know. I still remember a lot of things you told me. Like, you said you are actually weak, but you act strong. Or, like how you said you don’t have a lot of friends cause a lot of people hate you lol. and that other stuff, yeah I have a good memory when it comes to talking to someone that means a lot to me, lol. Well, I’ll summarize some shit up. I mess up, okay? I guess I used to try not to care or try too much because I get afraid of getting hurt like in past experiences. Like yesterday lol. But I learned not to put the past behind me, cause this is the present. I will try, for you. Cause I love you, and I care, okay? I really do. Sometimes I have a feeling I’ll mess up, and look stupid in front of you. Lol. I won’t leave. If you really promise not to. And accept me. Yesterday night when I couldn’t sleep, I re-read through all over our old posts from the beginning…..I love those posts. I miss those….I’m fighting for us, k. If you don’t want me in your life anymore, you can just tell me then. Cause I want the feeling in my chest to go away, and it will go away once you tell me. I know we talked about this yesterday, but I got sleepy from crying and I couldn’t really think. So I just wanted to post this up for you, because right now I’m wide awake and I’m pretty sure I know what I’m saying. Babe, I love you. Honest. I’m sorry for everything, ugh geez. Just tell me though, k. ._.
Babe, i feel so bad for not posting on here. As i said before its hard for me to write stuff like this cause yeah. Lately has been fine with me but idk about you. You always have late night thoughts like now. Omfg, stop k. Nothing bad will ever happen! I won’t even let something bad happen. Well i wont try. Anyways tho lol i’ve been thinking alot too. Most were about you! (Well and Jazmine but ill explain in this~) i have been thinking about how you are so amazing. Thinking about how you are so perfect to me <3 How exactly do you do it? It doesn’t take much but i find it so difficult. i’m the one in the relationship who does the bad stuff. im so duuumb. i treat you like shit. Whoops. Accidents happen babe. i dont mean to do stuff like what i do. All i say is ‘Sorry’. i know it doesn’t cut it. i just don’t know how else to explain. omg Kanga? i love you. OH and Jazmine. i was thinking on how much i thought she meant to me. She doesn’t even mean much at all. i dont get why i talk to her lol she’s so boring and too cool to talk to. Maybe cause she always hits me up if she wants to talk to my brother. She uses me to see him lol what a great friend. Thats all she talks about. My fucking brother lol oh well. i hardly talk to her. She is the meanie. Why? its cause shes basically my ‘Yrvin’. Yes. Basically its the same story as you two. Yeah… i deleted her number and shit lol YOLO wot. Well lets wrap this shit up! Being with you changed my life. i mean it. My family even noticed. They said that i act alot nicer and happier lol maybe cause its true. im like x1203192408120947151 happier ~ i love you babe <3 Forever. i wont let you go so easily like them other fags. ill put all my effort to keep you with me <3
Love you Kanga (:
Hi(: I felt like posting again lol. It’s sooo hot. Bleh. Yesterday was so much fun though <3 Except for like the huge awkwardness about Kaye ._. Whatever. The black haired lady was so mean. Nigga said I was weird because I was trying to show my love and affection for her~ Lolol omg. Asdfghsdh I think I’m done with cockblocking l0l. It’s funny to me, idk why. But not anymore, kinda. I just like cockblocking people LOL. Target was so fun though. I thought I lost Kaye, and then I called her and I realized I had her phone. Omg what a fail. We spend like 10 minutes looking for her. That was so much fun. Then we were like running away from you, then we ran away from Kaye. We need to do this again okay <3 That was hella fun. Asdfgh I miss you already. Every day I spend with you, even if it’s just a few hours, it’s just so unforgetable. All day in class I kept thinking about you. I don’t know why, but it always happens. I get off-task just thinking. I don’t know why, it just happens. It’s cool though. I love you babe. There’s no one I’d rather have, okay? I don’t care if we’re so lovey dovey, I’d rather have that then stay in the Friendship zone like other couples. They don’t even act like a couple lol. Your 11:11 wish though <3 It’s just like mine. Daayum we cute lolol. Kaye be jealous, but it’s cool though cause she likes girls .___. Whatever. I love you babe, forever and always ~ Right now it’s 5:05, lol idk why I said that but yeus LOL. I don’t really know why you’re sorry, but you said it’s because you’re being weird. ._. It’s cool I’m weird too~ idk lolol. Oh, and remember that I’ll always be here for you okay? Whenever I miss you I re-read all of our posts. You said you act like you’re strong but you’re really like, weak. Yeah. I remember lol. If you have any problem remember, I’m here for you k? I won’t judge you babe. Poop, k bye, I love you c:
I just said whatever came to my mind hohoho cx
I haven’t posted on here for a while. Well you’re out having fun right now and I’m at home so I guess it’s the perfect time to post for you. To be honest, I don’t know where to start lol. So we’ve been together for a month a 1 week Lolol. Yay (: Words can’t explain how much I love you. Right now I feel so weak though, like it sucks. I sound like such a pussy right now but I don’t care. This whole weekend I’ve been like this. I feel like I just wanna like collapse lol. I cried last night and Friday LOL, smh. I hate crying. I feel like I’ve changed. I’m sorry. I’m sorry if sometimes I act stubborn or whatever. Just tell me everything you need to tell me, truthfully? I’m here for you, and I’m here to listen. And if there’s any problem tell me. I want to fix it. I love you. My biggest fear is losing you. I don’t want that to happen. Never. Blah, stop acting weird though lolol. I don’t know I feel like you’ve changed alittle. Idk, or maybe I’m being stupid again. Well, I guess that’s all. I love you, cutie. You’re all mine <3 Asdfgh I love you.